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  • Writer's pictureWes Hazard

That Was unexpectedly worthwhile

Sometimes you forget just how weird and wild and unexpected...and rewarding...the Internet can be.

And then you stumble across something that you never even came close to thinking would exist, but it does, and now you know that, and you can't unknow it, and you know that other people need to know about it to. So here we are.

This video seeks to scientifically investigate the splashback patterns and volume caused by peeing while standing. I am so happy that scientists are finally out here tackling the REAL questions on all of our minds. This is long overdue and Nobel worthy.

Couple Things:

  • I checked, these are pee simulations. Not footage of an unseen and very well-hydrated man urinating off camera into a test bowl.

  • I was shocked to find out, first thing in this vid that 69% of men report standing when they pee vs sitting. Which means that...31% sit down??? I find that figure absolutely shocking, I would've thought it was *maybe* 7%.

  • My surprise is likely due to this fact which I found on the study's website: "Roughly 1 in 3 men and 1 in 5 women think it’s ‘unmanly’ if a man usually sits to pee". So maybe I'm just having a retrograde gut reaction based on sexist and meaningless stereotypes. Doesn't mean I didn't have that reaction, just that it might be stupid.

  • I cannot adequately express how cinematically dramatic this video is. The music is more appropriate to the buildup to a battle scene in a classic Hollywood sword & sandals epic and I kind of love it for that.

  • Fellas, counter to all common sense (which dictates that you should aim at the back wall of the bowl to minimize splashback onto the toilet rim and floor that would be generated by hitting the water itself) this actually shows that aiming for the water is the more sanitary option. Doing so might generate larger and more visible splashback drops but aiming for the back uniformly causes more splashing of smaller drops that are invisible to the naked eye. I'm not sure you can teach an old dog new tricks BUT..the more you know.

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